My favorite bit about holy relics is how some suggest at least one person thought, “This baby’s going places—I’m keeping that foreskin.”
slick marketing executives tricking me into eating gruel by calling it "oatmeal"
I accidentally said “hey Shirley” instead of “hey Siri” to my phone this morning and now it is stuck in airplane mode.
Today in Social and Emotional Learning, we were reviewing how to determine whether a problem is small, medium or big. We were instructed, as per the chart, that a small problem is one that involves only one person, a medium problem will involve up to three people, and a big problem will involve even more people than that.
So I’m glad to know that if I die by hitting a tree with my car, it will be a small problem with a simple solution! Do we have to be upset? No! Just go get some paper towels and clean it up!
thinking of switching from Historic to Explorer in MtG not because I dislike online only cards but because the power level in Historic is kind of ridiculous
Historic has cards that are perfectly legal that are banned and restricted in fucking vintage
walking my cat is so funny because we still do all the posturing and displays of dominance when encountering neighborhood cats like I'm not even there tethered to my kitty
I like how the news lady is just like "a kaijū has emerged at Fukuoka port" and because this is Japan no further elaboration is necessary #monsterdon